The Best Vampire



Lestat could kick the bloody piss out of Edward, although that's not saying much.
Photo courtesy of blog.filmjabber.com



There are vampires, and then there's Tom Cruise. In this dire age of girly teeny-boppers babbling about hogwash such as the Volturi coven and the Quileute wolf pack (werewolves with mysteriously shaven chests), the younger generation fails to recall that vampires were not always portrayed as shuckin' and jivin' drama mamas who got lost on their way home from the Mickey Mouse Club.

Truthfully, the purpose of this tribute on the best vampire of all time is not to simply knock around a rival flash-in-the-pan soap opera, but rather to rightfully glorify Lestat from Interview with the Vampire for his fiercely seductive screen presence.

Although there first must be one more comment made: When did the podunk logging capital of Forks, Washington become more appealingly gothic than the gas-lit streets of the Cajun French New Orleans?

Lestat de Lioncourt is the anti-hero of all anti-heroes, displaying emotion as elusive as the night itself. Really, managing to pull off a remarkably smartass persona despite the gallons of blood he faces on a daily basis? Only Lestat can do this realistically, unlike the thousands of campy P's of S before and after (forget being finished with the dishing of Twilight, we're still on to you and your cash cow, con artist ways, Stephenie Meyer!). Aren't Lestat's flowing golden locks sexier than a bad James Dean impression? We're not sure if you've heard, Stephenie Meyer, but this vampire does have a cause!

When Lestat pops out the reporter's cassette and the radio kicks in with Guns N' Roses' cover of "Sympathy for the Devil," the car drives off into the narrow slashes of dawn.

We would consider damnation too, just to be so cool.

This is why Tom Cruise will always be...the best vampire.